How to Build Self Esteem to Overcome a Crisis

You ask: "How do I overcome this crisis?"

Unfortunately it is not possible to answer this question - how to build self esteem? -  in a general way. There are many kinds of crises and the ways people react can be very different. But perhaps the following suggestions may help you forward, to overcome the crisis and building again your self esteem.

1. A crisis may be too a chance to give your career or your private life a new chance. Perhaps you were a considerable time to a dead end and there happened few in your life. Your development is being at a stand still. In a crisis you can or should (to avoid a new crisis) think about what is really important in your life. How you would manifest your destiny.


2. Your body gives signs if things aren't good for you. For instance over tiredness or other unclear problems. Most of the time it turns out that you have had those signs for a long time but you ignored them. Sometimes it lasts years before people end up in a crisis. So grant yourself some time and patience to find yourself again. 


3. You overcome a crisis sooner, when you take for granted that it is not something that has to do with injustice. Annoying occurrences belong to life and have nothing to do with justice or injustice. An attitude like "I try to make the best from the new situation" provides you eventually more to build self esteem than that you become bitter at "why has this happened to me?". 


4. An other pitfall in a crisis is that you idealize the situation before the crisis happened and don't see the very annoying things, who took place. If you do so you will remain in the grief and don't come to terms with it. There is no perfection in whatever life situation. 


5. Rejection in your work or private situation is very annoying but no disaster. Give those rejections no more energy then acquired and spend this energy to organize your work or life again. 


6. Life is often a matter of "fall and rise", especially the "rise" is very important. It is striking that people react very different in a crisis. The one person remains in it while an other doesn't do so and start up his or her new life. These differences between people are called differences in ego-resilience. This ego-resilience has a narrow connection with self knowledge and a positive life attitude. 


7. Your environment determines often how you will overcome a crisis. Sometimes there are persons in your environment with whom you can have a good talk. Most of the time these are persons, whom have much life experience and who do not justify you. If those people aren't in your environment, look up for them. 


8. Do not remain a long time in the feelings that the crisis have caused. Ask help from friends, family or a professional counselor. In the case of professional guidance your own healing power will be used. The guidance is not in the first place "complaint-focused" but more "power-focused".


9. Many people become involved with a crisis because they identify fully with their work or relationship. When it goes bad with one of those, then they have no hold in their life. Therefore it is important that you have more points of support. Such as hobbies, family, friends, education and so on.


10. Very important points of support are physical (work in garden, long distance walking, sport) or creative activities. These activities provide you more energy and a better condition (through which a crisis will be seen as less large) and that you will not be fixed upon the crisis. 


11. Put things into perspective. In every life happen things and are circumstances that are annoying or even disastrous.


12. Positive thinking gives power and self confidence...

There is really a big difference in the way you experience life if you think "the glass is half filled" in stead of " the glass is half empty". The first gives power and the second gives dissatisfaction. This way of thinking you can find too in all the books that are for sale about happiness and health.

Those books are about positive thinking and how to organize your life in the best way. Most of the time you will find a number of rules to follow. The Australian health psychologist Louise Samways (1999) writes in her book that there are 12 secrets for a happier life. These secrets are:

• optimism;
• satisfaction about yourself;
• take care of your own life;
• being active;
• appreciate others;
• live healthy;
• social life with others;
• handle in a flexible way with occurrences;
• setting yourself a goal in life;
• feeling part of a greater unity;
• building in peace in your life and yourself;
• and eventually satisfaction with life.

In addition to read positive books, gives associating positive people very much power to build self esteem.