Speak For Yourself

You should speak for yourself because you are an unique person... .
Before your time, during and after your life there will be no one who is the same like you. 

That means that you are an unique person with unique qualities , abilities and preferences. And that means that other people on their turn are unique persons.

Carl Rogers (in Engler, 1999): "The individual is the only one who can understand his experiences. That is the cause that an other person - with an other way of thinking and feeling - can explain difficultly the behavior of the other".

An important effect of this uniqueness is , that in essential only you could and should determine your life. That doesn't mean that you cannot ask for advice to other people, but YOU are and remain the one, who can determine what fits you and what not.

In your desires you distinguish yourself from others. By showing what you really want you create the possibility to find, with help from others, your own place that best fits you. 

Be honest. Your desire includes the essence of who you really are. And not only that, it includes the essence of what you can mean to others too, what you can give. The person who is and remains authentic will eventually always get respect and trust. Let there be no misunderstanding about what you desire.

Children who do NOT ask, will be passed. If you don't ask you take the risk that the people you need to realize your goals, cannot find you because you don't utter yourself.

What is in it for them?

So you have to speak in a way that makes other people aware of the profitability of your desires. You do this by putting oneself in the other. Ask yourself: "What is in it for them?"

Scientific research has proved that the sentence you start with, lays down for 99% of the rest of the story is right. People know to determine on average in 20 seconds what they like or don't like. The sentence you start with, settles it.

You can give your self confidence a big boost by telling your story in a way that you not will be rejected directly.
You could say for instance: "I have a smart tip and at the same time you can help me"...

You appeal to the desire for information and the longing for altruism. Or...

"I have discovered something with which you can gain an advantage and at the same time get more fee time...". And than...

"I will tell you more about it with pleasure, but first you may treat me an ice cream..."

Come across the way you want it

And if you are rejected, work out for yourself again:

• What was my opening sentence?
• What content do I have to share?
• Which feeling does it give the other? How can I let it be experienced?
• How do I tell it? How should I like to hear it?
• How can I imagine it? Which images fit to it?
• Which experience do I want to share?, Which atmosphere is acquired for this?
• How much understanding will I achieve?

You see 'Speak for Yourself' is between Desire, Imagination and Communication.